BDSM

Why Threesomes, Foursomes, and Group Sex Is So Cumpelling - Three pairs of feet under a blanket.

Why Threesomes, Foursomes, and Group Sex Is So Compelling

Last week’s Fetish Friday dove into the numbers, and one statistic kept jumping out. Dr. Justin Lehmiller’s research found that 95 percent of men and 87 percent of women have fantasized about sex involving multiple partners. When nearly everyone has imagined this at some point, the question becomes: what makes this fantasy so compelling, where does it show up throughout history, and why does it hold such power in fantasies today.

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ADHD in D/S: Challenges and Solutions - ADHD written on a chalkboard

ADHD in D/S: Challenges and Solutions

People with ADHD experience D/S relationships in ways that can bring both challenges and surprises. Sometimes it is hard to focus, keep track of agreements, or stay on the same page. But ADHD also brings creativity, intensity, and fresh ways of connecting that can make partnerships feel more alive. As someone who navigates the challenges and joys of ADHD in a D/S partnership, I have learned a lot about how these two worlds connect. Knowing what to expect and how to work with these ups and downs can help make relationships honest, flexible, and real. Whether you have ADHD, care about someone who does, or just want to understand more, this can help.

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BDSM, Monday Minute
Fun Fetish Facts - A person holding paper with graphs on it.

Fun Fetish Facts: What the Statistics Actually Say

Welcome back to another Fetish Friday, where the statistics tell stories that most people never hear whispered in polite conversation, and where the numbers reveal that human sexuality contains far more variety than anyone might guess from everyday interactions. This week takes a different approach by exploring an array of surprising facts about fetishes, kinks, and desires that research has uncovered over the years. The data challenges assumptions, reveals unexpected patterns, and paints a picture of sexuality that extends far beyond what mainstream culture typically acknowledges. So settle in somewhere comfortable, pour something delicious to sip, and prepare to discover that the intimate lives people lead behind closed doors are both more common and more diverse than most would ever imagine.

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BDSM Before the Digital Age -High Heels with a flogger balancing on them with a red background.

BDSM Before the Digital Age

Kink has always existed, even when society tried to erase it. Long before online communities, people found secret ways to explore BDSM, dominance and submission, and erotic curiosity. Hidden clubs, coded letters, and underground gatherings allowed desire to flourish despite danger and stigma. Ancient rituals, daring literature, and clandestine photography reveal a world rich with experimentation and daring. Tracing this history shows a culture that thrived on creativity, courage, and connection long before the digital age.

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Fetish Friday: Understanding Financial Domination (Findom) - A man's arm in a yellow dress shirt holding 50 and 100 US dollar bills.

Fetish Friday: Understanding Financial Domination (Findom)

Financial domination, more commonly known as Findom, is one of the most fascinating corners of the D/S spectrum because it places money itself at the center of erotic exchange. At its core, Findom involves a submissive finding arousal, release, or fulfillment by giving financial tribute to a dominant who receives not only the funds but also the symbolic weight of authority and command. It is a dynamic that strips money of its everyday purpose and turns it into a currency of desire, validation, and psychological thrill. What was once whispered about in private circles and tucked into the back pages of fetish magazines has become more visible, amplified by the internet and increasingly visible in kink spaces. Today, Findom is not only part of D/S culture but also a striking reflection of how intimacy, power dynamics, and technology intersect in modern relationships.

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Stepping Away Is Not Fake Dominance - A woman holding a paper heart torn in the middle.

Stepping Away Is Not Fake Dominance

Picture the beginning of something that feels promising. A dominant meets a submissive and the first conversations come easily. Laughter flows, curiosity lingers in every exchange, and the spark of possibility feels alive. As they talk, the dominant begins to notice that what each wants from a connection will not align. There is a moment of tension as the realization sinks in, but it is paired with clarity. The dominant chooses to step back, speaking honestly and kindly, acknowledging the mismatch without blame or hesitation. This is not a sign of a bad dominant or one who is “faking” dominance as suggest. In fact, it is the hallmark of responsible, authentic leadership. Instead of forcing a connection that cannot work, the dominant steps away with care and respect.

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BDSM, Monday Minute
Fetish Friday: Understanding CNC - A non-binary couple with one partner tied in rope and blindfolded with the other partner holding the rope lead.

Fetish Friday: Understanding CNC

Consent Non-Consent, often shortened to CNC, is one of the most challenging and captivating forms of kink play. It explores the charged interplay between consent and power exchange, where boundaries are carefully drawn, yet the illusion of resistance is brought into focus. CNC can feel psychologically demanding and is often misunderstood by those unfamiliar with its dynamics. Guidance becomes essential for those who wish to explore it with safety, clear communication, and respect for limits. At its heart, CNC is not about coercion or abuse but about negotiated experiences that thrive on trust and intentional boundaries.

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Responsible Punishment in D/S - A woman in a red blazer holding a riding crop.

Responsible Punishment in D/S

Discipline in D/S requires intention, clarity, and a steady mind, and I approach it by choosing the word “correct” instead of “punish” because “punish” carries negativity and retribution, while “correct” highlights learning, growth, and moving forward. Mistakes are inevitable, but a dominant must never address them in anger, as reactions driven by frustration can harm the submissive and undermine trust. When correction comes from calm and deliberate thought, it becomes a tool for understanding, improvement, and stronger connection. The ability to pause, reflect, and act intentionally separates a responsible dominant from one who reacts impulsively, ensuring guidance reinforces clarity, learning, and long-term stability.

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BDSM, Monday Minute
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