Monday Minute

Monday Minute - Defining Dominance A woman in a mask with a red background.

Monday Minute Defining Dominance

This morning, bumbling around the internet waiting for a conference call to start led to discovering a blog post that had fifteen steps to becoming a dominant. It had advice like never take “no” for an answer ever. Can you imagine a date with this person who never takes no for an answer? Ick and DANGER! The post dragged on while creating a challenge.

How do you define dominance? Perhaps the simple, quick answer is leadership, but what does that mean? So the challenge today was setting a limit of ten rapid ideas to define leadership, in D/S.

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Monday Minute - Lessons Learned The word Lessons in blue marker and the word Learned in red marker

Monday Minute – Ten Lessons Learned

No matter what it is in life, as we gain experience with something, there are lessons we learned along the way. Sometimes those little lessons that are acquired by experience, people keep inside and do not always share as though they are a secret or a bit of knowledge they feel must be learned the hard way, as they have learned them. Thinking back on some of the things discovered on my journey in D/S, some challenges could have been or should have been talked about rather than discovered. D/S is not a place where educational experiences should be withheld like a state secret. So with that in mind, here are ten thoughts to assist those who are newer or perhaps even give food for thought to the more experienced:

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Monday Minute- Pornish A movie set

Monday Minute: Pornish Perceptions

The influence of porn on our perceptions of sex is undeniable, and in D/S, it is no exception. This is not to say that adult films are a “bad thing” because it is not even when they give us unreasonable expectations of how long it takes a plumber to arrive at our house. Additionally, it creates a world that is easy to be swept away by the allure of unrealistic expectations regarding the dynamics of D/S relationships. Today, we will look into how pornography has contributed to unrealistic expectations within the lifestyle, why fantasies do not always translate seamlessly into reality, and how individuals can navigate this divide for more fulfilling and authentic intimate experiences.

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Monday Minute - New Relationship Energy A couple about to kiss.

Monday Minute: New Relationship Energy

New Relationship Energy, or NRE, is that intense emotional and physical buzz people often feel when something new and exciting begins. While the term is widely known in polyamorous circles, its reach goes far beyond that. NRE can throw even the most grounded D/S dynamic off balance, whether the relationship is polyamorous, open, or monogamous. It can lift everything to thrilling heights or blur boundaries in ways that catch people off guard. This is about recognizing when NRE shows up, understanding what it stirs up, and knowing how to handle it before it steers things off course.

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Monday Minute - Frenzy Woman in a white shirt, red jacket holding a flogger.

Monday Minute: Frenzy

In the captivating world of dominance and submission, times of frenzied excitement can arise, engulfing individuals in a whirlwind of emotions and desires. This frenzy is a state of mind where passion and eagerness surge, sometimes leading to impulsive actions and decisions. While the world of D/S exploration is often exciting, it requires cautious awareness to avoid impulsive decisions, as yielding to frenzied thoughts can lead to potential dangers.

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Monday Minute - Beyond The Fantasy. BDSM toys lit by a red light.

Monday Minute: Beyond the Fantasy

Fantasies carry a weight that can make openly discussing them a challenge. They are often met with silent judgment or misunderstanding. This can make them harder to voice but within BDSM expressing them can be liberating because fantasies are natural and powerful expressions of imagination, curiosity, and desire that deserve recognition without shame. They are not confessions or signs of moral failing but parts of ourselves that call for ownership. Embracing fantasies openly sets the stage for personal acceptance and freedom, inviting a deeper exploration of what it means to live honestly with desire.

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Monday Minute - Hidden Bias. The word bias spelled out on wooden blocks.

Monday Minute: Hidden Bias

Many who create, market, and lead in the BDSM community promote the idea that dominants are always men and submissives are always women based on their products and productions. This narrow portrayal does more than distort reality. It causes harm by erasing the rich variety of D/S relationships that exist across all genders and identities. Authentic D/S connections break free from these outdated roles and deserve to be seen. Bias like this shows up everywhere, shapes how people live their experiences, and demands to be challenged for a clearer and more inclusive view.

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Monday Minute - Beyond The Necklace. A person wearing a leather BDSM collar.

Monday Minute: Beyond The Necklace

A collar in BDSM is not just a piece of material worn around the neck. It can carry many different meanings, some signaling intent and commitment, others serving practical or personal purposes. Not all collars represent the same thing. Some mark stages in a relationship, some express identity or protection, and some exist purely as fashion accessories. Understanding the differences between collar types and their significance is essential.

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