Edward Volkl

Coffee Aficionado, Podcaster, Poet, Writer, Advocate Of Everything Kinktastic & Sharing My Passion In A Positive, Uplifting Space.

The Alpha Myth: A man raging out of a car window.

The Alpha Myth

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The alpha male trope has stubbornly clung to pop culture, surviving everything from bad dating advice to social media soundbites. It has crept into BDSM spaces, where loud posturing or overconfidence can be mistaken for confidence. Many mistake exaggerated posturing, cockiness, and emotional detachment for strength, especially when dominance is involved. That confusion creates a warped picture of what ethical BDSM actually requires. It is important to reassess the alpha myth and show why it simply does not belong in any serious or respectful D/S dynamic.

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Fetish Friday: Sensory Deprivation - A woman in red, wearing a black blindfold with red rose pedals scattered about.

Fetish Friday: Sensory Deprivation

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The world fades into darkness, and every sound becomes amplified. A soft breath, a light touch, a whisper feels sharper, more intense. Sensory deprivation involves removing or limiting sight, sound, or both through tools like blindfolds, earmuffs, or blackout hoods. Without these senses, anticipation, focus, and heightened awareness become more pronounced. Sensory deprivation creates a powerful shift in perception, an emotional and psychological experience that can be both thrilling and deeply immersive.

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Blocking and Deleting: Man in sunglasses holding his hand in a blocking position.

Blocking And Deleting

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Online BDSM spaces can be brilliant, full of insight, support, and connection, but they are not immune to nonsense. Harassment, derailment, privacy violations, and unsolicited messages can turn a helpful thread into a mess in minutes. Blocking and deleting are not signs of fragility, an inability to handle discussion or those with a differing view; they are smart filters for keeping a space functional, focused, and worth returning to. These actions protect your boundaries, prevent burnout, and stop drama from taking up permanent residence in your feed. No one is owed your time or attention, and filtering out what drains or disrespects you is not wrong, rather it is healthy and self-preserving.

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Fetish Friday: Masks - A woman wearing a mask in a darkened room, red background.

Fetish Friday: Masks

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This week, Fetish Friday is in disguise as it explores masks, not as party props but as erotic catalysts. These items have long moved beyond the category of costume and into something far more charged. Something is enduring about concealment that invites a strange kind of liberation, one that continues to entice and unsettle. Erotic freedom often begins where identity blurs and masks offer just the right invitation.

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Consent: The word consent spelled on wooden blocks with coins and pens.

Consent: Mastering FRIES

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Consent is one of those subjects that seems like it should be a no-brainer, especially in and around BDSM but data from the National Coalition For Sexual Freedom reports over 25% of people have had their consent violated in the community.* With consent so basic and expected in BDSM, join me in discussing consent, FRIES (Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific) and endeavor to drastically reduce the number of consent violations.

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Fetish Friday: Restraints and Bondage - Leather cuffs on a bed.

Fetish Friday: Restraints and Bondage

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The image of a person bound, arms secured above their head, wrists encircled by rope, or ankles fastened to a post, evokes a visceral reaction. For some, it calls to mind a kinktastic experience or for others, it awakens desire, curiosity, or a desire to explore. Within BDSM, restraint occupies a central place. It is not merely about limiting physical freedom. It is about creating intention, exploring trust, and altering power through form and focus. To understand why restraint is so captivating, one must look not only to the present but to its long, layered history.

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