Edward Volkl

Coffee Aficionado, Podcaster, Poet, Writer, Advocate Of Everything Kinktastic & Sharing My Passion In A Positive, Uplifting Space.

Consent: The word consent spelled on wooden blocks with coins and pens.

Consent: Mastering FRIES

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Consent is one of those subjects that seems like it should be a no-brainer, especially in and around BDSM but data from the National Coalition For Sexual Freedom reports over 25% of people have had their consent violated in the community.* With consent so basic and expected in BDSM, join me in discussing consent, FRIES (Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific) and endeavor to drastically reduce the number of consent violations.

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Fetish Friday: Restraints and Bondage - Leather cuffs on a bed.

Fetish Friday: Restraints and Bondage

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The image of a person bound, arms secured above their head, wrists encircled by rope, or ankles fastened to a post, evokes a visceral reaction. For some, it calls to mind a kinktastic experience or for others, it awakens desire, curiosity, or a desire to explore. Within BDSM, restraint occupies a central place. It is not merely about limiting physical freedom. It is about creating intention, exploring trust, and altering power through form and focus. To understand why restraint is so captivating, one must look not only to the present but to its long, layered history.

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The Mailbag Strikes Back! (Part One) - White question mark on a black background.

Podcast: The Mailbag Strikes Back! (Part One)

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Recently I asked you, the listeners, to ask your questions about BDSM, D/S, and kink and the variety and scope of the questions are amazing. The questions cover so much ground, from navigating ethical gray areas, how to talk with an uptight partner about getting kinky, or handle laughter mid-scene plus some dared ask those questions people think but rarely ask! So put on those earbuds, pull up a chair, get comfy, and press play on the first of a two part episode dedicated your questions!

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BDSM, Podcast
Collar Care - An ornate silver collar style necklace.

Collar Care

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Collars are not merely accessories in BDSM dynamics. They represent commitment, trust, and the unique bond shared between a dominant and a submissive. For those in 24/7 dynamics, a collar can be as meaningful as a wedding ring. It is a constant reminder of the roles, responsibilities, and affection that define the relationship. Given its importance, proper care and maintenance are essential. Just as one would not neglect a treasured piece of jewelry, a collar should receive consistent and thoughtful attention.

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Fetish Friday: Whips and Chains - A leather whip and golden chains on a beige background.

Fetish Friday: Whips and Chains

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The phrase “whips and chains” is often thrown around by those who have never spent time in kink spaces. It gets used as a joke, a reference, or a punchline. It sounds daring to those outside the community, but for those who enjoy BDSM, the phrase is an empty echo. It has lost any connection to the tools it describes or the care behind their use.

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Leadership - Hiking while holding hands.

Leadership

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Some say leadership in D/S must always come from the front. They imagine the dominant as the one who is constantly visible, always issuing commands, always holding the spotlight. They believe leadership is proven by how obviously in charge someone appears. That kind of thinking belongs in a military recruitment poster, not in a working dynamic.

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A spanking paddle on a red velvet background.

Fetish Friday: Spanking

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Spanking occupies a deeply rooted place in human eroticism. Within the BDSM community, it holds particular significance not only as a tool for sensation but also as a channel for psychological play. While often perceived as merely punitive or disciplinary, spanking engages with themes of trust, ritual, anticipation, and emotional connection. It can be slow and sensual or sharp and bracing. The sensations vary, but the emotional impact often lingers long after the skin cools.

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