Edward Volkl

Coffee Aficionado, Podcaster, Poet, Writer, Advocate Of Everything Kinktastic & Sharing My Passion In A Positive, Uplifting Space.

Vetting: A b&w photo playing on Sherlock Holms with a man with a magnifying glass and pipe.

Vetting

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Vetting a potential partner is an essential step for anyone involved in BDSM, where trust, compatibility, and safety are paramount. While the internet can be a useful tool for finding like-minded individuals, it also comes with risks that cannot be ignored. Careful vetting helps to identify red flags early on and ensures that interactions remain safe and respectful. This process is not about arranging in-person meetings but about gathering enough information to make informed decisions. Understanding how to vet effectively can save time, protect well-being, and build a foundation for meaningful connections.

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BDSM
Stop The Punishing: The podcast studio.

Gettin’ Wordy

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Wordy is the cool new thing because words are powerful, from small words like “no” to those long what exactly do they mean words. When the conversation turns to BDSM, words can become the lyrics of pleasure, pleasurable pain, or just pain. Plus it just so happens that a new episode of the Chatting With The Lightkeeper podcast just dropped and you might have guessed, this one is a little wordy.

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BDSM, Podcast
Fantasy Or Interested: BDSM "toys" including ball gag, nipple clamps, cuffs, and collar. All in red.

Fantasy Or Genuinely Interested?

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The BDSM lifestyle is complex and it is essential to differentiate between those who are genuinely interested in living the BDSM lifestyle and those who may only be engaging in a fantasy or online role-play. Today, we will explore the red flags that indicate someone may not be genuinely into the lifestyle and the green flags that suggest a sincere interest in BDSM.

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BDSM
Black boots for Fetish Friday's Bootblacking.

Fetish Friday: Bootblacking

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Bootblacking is a ritualistic act often associated with submission and devotion, where a submissive cleans and polishes the footwear of a dominant. The act involves not only a physical cleaning but also a psychological exchange, as it reinforces the power dynamic between the two individuals. For the submissive, it is an opportunity to demonstrate care, attention, and respect, while for the dominant, it solidifies their position of authority. Despite its roots in older traditions, bootblacking continues to hold meaning for those who embrace it in their BDSM practices.

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BDSM, Fetish Friday
A peaceful scene with candles and incents for the post dominants need aftercare.

Aftercare For Dominants

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Aftercare is an essential part of BDSM that helps individuals transition from the intensity of a scene back to everyday life. It often involves emotional and physical support tailored to the needs of those involved. Many people associate aftercare solely with submissives, assuming they are the only ones who require comfort and care after a scene. This assumption overlooks the reality that dominants also experience emotional and physical strain. Dominants, like submissives, can benefit greatly from aftercare to process their experiences and restore balance. Recognizing this need challenges stereotypes and promotes healthier dynamics within the BDSM community.

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BDSM
A red tickling feather on a black background.

Fetish Friday: Tickling

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This week on Fetish Friday, the fascinating history of tickling and its role in power dynamics is explored. In ancient times, tickling was not just for amusement; it often carried deep symbolic meaning tied to submission, dominance, and control. Cultures around the world, from ancient Rome to Indigenous Americas, utilized tickling in ways that connected it to rituals of vulnerability and power. These practices continue to echo in modern BDSM, where tickling serves as a unique tool for exploring consensual dynamics.

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BDSM, Fetish Friday
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