Edward Volkl

Coffee Aficionado, Podcaster, Poet, Writer, Advocate Of Everything Kinktastic & Sharing My Passion In A Positive, Uplifting Space.

Ethical D/S: Not What the Movies Taught You

Ethical D/S: Not What the Movies Taught You

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The movies have been feeding everyone a load of nonsense about dominance for decades. Hollywood needs drama that translates on screen, so they give us dominants who yell and posture and treat every interaction like a power struggle that must be won through sheer intimidation. It makes for entertaining viewing when someone is eating popcorn on the couch, but it has nothing to do with how D/S actually functions when people are living it day to day. Dominance in practice looks absolutely nothing like the theatrical production designed to sell tickets.

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BDSM, Monday Minute
Edmund Fitzgerald

The Lighthouses Remember

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The Edmund Fitzgerald was an ore freighter, the biggest on the lakes when she launched,
She knew it too, you could tell by the way she sailed herself, queen of these inland seas,
Blasting music from her loudspeakers like a floating dance party, melody echoing off the water,
She broke records, carried more iron ore than anyone thought possible, twenty-six thousand tons
Like it was nothing, she was a celebrity, people would line the shores just to watch her pass,
This seven-hundred-twenty-nine-foot movie star making the hard work look like joy.

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Poetry
Why Do People Have Fetishes? The Science Behind Them

Why Do People Have Fetishes? The Science Behind Them

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Why do some people get turned on by leather while others could not care less? Why does the sight of a specific type of shoe send one person’s pulse racing while leaving another completely unmoved?

It sounds like a weird question, but the answer is less mysterious than you might think. Fetishism refers to sexual arousal that is strongly linked to a specific object, material, body part, or scenario. When practiced consensually and without causing distress, it is part of the normal spectrum of human sexual expression. Within kink-aware communities, fetishes are just natural variations in how people experience desire. The real question is not whether fetishes are normal. The question is how they develop in the first place.

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BDSM, Fetish Friday
I Choose You - A couple walking in fall along a leaf covered trail.

I Choose You

1 Comment / Poetry / /

I Choose You

Some people say I want you and they mean the sweat, the bite, the bruise left on skin.
They mean three in the morning with clothes on the floor and nothing else mattering at all.
Want is good, want is the blood rushing hot, want is what makes us reach across the dark.
But want burns through everything fast and when the body is satisfied it forgets why it came.
Want does not care about your name, only that you are there when the craving hits.

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Poetry
How to Keep Your D/S Relationship Strong When Life Gets Chaotic - Busy urban street at night

How to Keep Your D/S Relationship Strong When Life Gets Chaotic

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Life rarely slows down. Work piles up, errands take longer than expected, the kids need to be driven to practice, Halloween costumes and candy need to be bought, the lovely in-laws are coming over on Sunday, and the holidays are just around the corner. Ugh, life is a never-ending box of exhausting chocolates, and the constant demands of daily life can make even small moments of D/S feel impossible, sometimes making the relationship feel distant. Finding ways to maintain the lifestyle connection under these circumstances can seem overwhelming, but it can be managed.

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BDSM, Monday Minute
Fetish Wear-ween: The Night You Do Not Have to Wear a Mask - A woman in a devil outfit

Fetish Wear-ween: The Night You Do Not Have to Wear a Mask

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Happy Fetish Friday, and happy Halloween! Tonight offers something rare: the chance to explore why one night a year grants permission denied every other day, and how people who wear leather, latex, and fetish gear experience this night completely differently than everyone else. While millions slip into costumes to become someone else, these people finally get to be themselves. Everyone else puts on masks. They take theirs off. This creates fascinating questions about desire, visibility, and why society accepts transgression for exactly one night before returning to rigid policing the next morning.

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BDSM, Fetish Friday
Luxury - An old motel sign lit up at dusk.

Luxury

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We were always looking for something just out of reach,
burning gas through towns that did not need names,
talking like we knew more than we did,
every stoplight a dare, every corner a test of loyalty,
and still nothing felt earned except the silence afterward.

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Poetry
Tell’m What You Really, Really Want - The podcast studio.

Tell’m What You Really, Really Want

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What do the Spice Girls and BDSM have in common?

The Spice Girls proudly proclaimed “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want” and in BDSM and kink we need to do that with our partner(s). But sometimes we get shy or fear rejection if we share what we really, really want, forgetting that fetishes, fantasies and all things kinktastic are shared by thousands, even if they are only spoken about in dark corners and hushed tones.

The new episode of the Chatting With The Lightkeeper podcast sheds light on not so forbidden fantasies. Sharing just how common what we call uncommon actually is. After listening, you might wonder which of your coworkers is kinky too.

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BDSM, Podcast
The Quiet Dominant: Why D/S Does Not Require Extroversion - A person standing alone looking out over a lake in winter.

The Quiet Dominant: Why D/S Does Not Require Extroversion

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People assume dominance must be loud, impossible to ignore, and full of spectacle. Movies, porn, and corporate culture have hammered that image into the collective imagination. Dominance, in D/S, is often portrayed as extroverted, performative, and relentless. Yet dominance can exist in silence, calm presence, and intentional action, guiding and shaping relationships without noise. Recognizing this opens the door to questioning long-held myths and seeing the full diversity of how dominance can be expressed.

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BDSM, Monday Minute
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