October 2025

Fetish Wear-ween: The Night You Do Not Have to Wear a Mask - A woman in a devil outfit

Fetish Wear-ween: The Night You Do Not Have to Wear a Mask

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Happy Fetish Friday, and happy Halloween! Tonight offers something rare: the chance to explore why one night a year grants permission denied every other day, and how people who wear leather, latex, and fetish gear experience this night completely differently than everyone else. While millions slip into costumes to become someone else, these people finally get to be themselves. Everyone else puts on masks. They take theirs off. This creates fascinating questions about desire, visibility, and why society accepts transgression for exactly one night before returning to rigid policing the next morning.

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BDSM, Fetish Friday
Luxury - An old motel sign lit up at dusk.

Luxury

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We were always looking for something just out of reach,
burning gas through towns that did not need names,
talking like we knew more than we did,
every stoplight a dare, every corner a test of loyalty,
and still nothing felt earned except the silence afterward.

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Poetry
Tell’m What You Really, Really Want - The podcast studio.

Tell’m What You Really, Really Want

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What do the Spice Girls and BDSM have in common?

The Spice Girls proudly proclaimed “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want” and in BDSM and kink we need to do that with our partner(s). But sometimes we get shy or fear rejection if we share what we really, really want, forgetting that fetishes, fantasies and all things kinktastic are shared by thousands, even if they are only spoken about in dark corners and hushed tones.

The new episode of the Chatting With The Lightkeeper podcast sheds light on not so forbidden fantasies. Sharing just how common what we call uncommon actually is. After listening, you might wonder which of your coworkers is kinky too.

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BDSM, Podcast
The Quiet Dominant: Why D/S Does Not Require Extroversion - A person standing alone looking out over a lake in winter.

The Quiet Dominant: Why D/S Does Not Require Extroversion

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People assume dominance must be loud, impossible to ignore, and full of spectacle. Movies, porn, and corporate culture have hammered that image into the collective imagination. Dominance, in D/S, is often portrayed as extroverted, performative, and relentless. Yet dominance can exist in silence, calm presence, and intentional action, guiding and shaping relationships without noise. Recognizing this opens the door to questioning long-held myths and seeing the full diversity of how dominance can be expressed.

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BDSM, Monday Minute
Trust Your Gut in BDSM - The words Trust Your Instincts on a sticky note

Trust Your Gut in BDSM

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A sense of unease is impossible to ignore once it arrives. You meet someone in the community, ask questions, check references, and everything looks fine. Still, something twists in your stomach, subtle but persistent. It might be a pause in conversation, a small contradiction, or a feeling that the energy just does not match. That knot warns of what logic cannot see, yet it is easy to dismiss. Ignoring it can leave you uncomfortable, regretting choices, or doubting yourself. Paying attention to what your instincts are signaling helps spot hidden warning signs. Learning to read those feelings can protect well-being and guide interactions with clarity.

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BDSM, Monday Minute
Why Threesomes, Foursomes, and Group Sex Is So Cumpelling - Three pairs of feet under a blanket.

Why Threesomes, Foursomes, and Group Sex Is So Compelling

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Last week’s Fetish Friday dove into the numbers, and one statistic kept jumping out. Dr. Justin Lehmiller’s research found that 95 percent of men and 87 percent of women have fantasized about sex involving multiple partners. When nearly everyone has imagined this at some point, the question becomes: what makes this fantasy so compelling, where does it show up throughout history, and why does it hold such power in fantasies today.

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BDSM, Fetish Friday
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